I hate slowly losing contact with people
does anybody else have that friend that you’re pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way
Restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans
i love laughing about the friend zone because it’s so dumb like you know most of those dudes aren’t even IN the “friend zone” they’re in the “ugh god not this dude again” zone
fun fact: the reason that the plural of goose is geese but the plural of moose is not meese is because goose derives from an ancient germanic word undergoing strong declension, in the pattern of foot/feet and tooth/teeth, wherein oo is mutated to ee. however ‘moose’ is a native american word added to the english lexicon only ~400 years ago, and lacks the etymological reason to be pluralized in that way.
Oh baby. Keep talking dirty to me.
I’m trying to figure out when “oh, it’s midnight” turned into “oh, it’s only midnight”